At Grace Fellowship Church we have been blessed with some godly women who love their husbands and their children. On a daily basis they sacrifice their time and energy to ensure that all of them are taken care of and the children are educated in the fear of the Lord. I applaud these women and am very thankful they are raising the next generation of wives.
One of our ladies had the privilege of speaking at a ladies event just a few weeks ago and has been gracious enough to allow me to post what she said here.
Good evening! It’s an honor to be here with you. My prayer tonight is for our Heavenly Father to be glorified, for truth to be spoken in love, and for you to be encouraged in your
relationship with Him and others. One of my favorite scriptures is Psalm 115:1, “Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to Your name give glory because of Your lovingkindness, because of Your truth.” May the LORD be glorified here tonight.
As I was praying about what the Lord would have me speak to you, I thought of the theme of this banquet: LOVE BY DESIGN. I thought of how God is a God of LOVE and that He is our Master DESIGNER. He is a God of order: order in the universe, order in the church, and order in our families. By following His design for these things, we can experience peace and blessings. When I say blessings, I’m not talking about “health & wealth”; I’m talking about contentment & joy that ONLY can come from Him,
especially in the midst of trials and sufferings. God’s Word, the Holy Bible, has EVERYTHING you need to find His design for your life. Romans 15:4 states, “For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through
perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”
There are many commandments that God gives throughout the pages of Scripture. I used to think that when I heard the word “commandments”, it was only referring to the 10 Commandments. However, Scripture is full of commandments. A commandment
is a mandate; charge; or an order given by authority and is expected to be obeyed.
The greatest commandment that God gives is to love Him first. This commandment is written in the Old Testament, and repeated gain in the New Testament. In Deut. 6:5 Moses tells the Israelites, “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and
with all your soul and with all your might. In Matthew 22:36-37, Jesus is asked, “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied, “YOU
SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.” (Mk.12:30 includes mind & strength) The Greek word “love” when used as a noun is agape. (God is Love). Here it’s the action verb-agapao- which means “the commitment of devotion that is directed by the will and can be commanded as a duty.” We are commanded to love God with our
entire being! We are to give God our complete allegiance and total devotion!
When our focus is on putting God first, we desire to please Him in every area of our life. When it’s not, we become focused on self and worldly pleasures, which ultimately bring discontentment. If you’re discontent in your life right now, my questions to you would be: Where is YOUR focus? Are you allowing God to be 1st in your life? Are you content with where God has you right now? To experience contentment in our lives, we must surrender our hearts to the LORD and know His truths. Contentment is also a
choice. We can always find the good or bad in anything. We should pray as David prayed in Psalm 86:11, “Teach me Your way, O LORD, and I will walk in Your truth; give me an undivided heart that I may fear Your name.” An undivided heart is one totally and completely devoted to Him. To fear God is to have a Holy reverence for Him. We must also be on our guard NOT to become complacent! When our whole heart is surrendered to Him, we can experience contentment in our lives, no matter what comes our way.
There was a time in my life when I was not devoted to God, nor did I love Him first. I was selfish and sinful. I didn’t realize His love for me through Jesus Christ. I got involved in unhealthy relationships; relationships that seemed fun and exciting at first,
but ended up in abuse. The abuse, which started out as verbal eventually got worse and left me with no self worth. It had gotten so bad that one young man I had dated for a few years told me that if I ever broke up with him, no one would ever have me…and I believed him. At that point, I even thought it’d be better to stay with him and be miserable than to have no one and be miserable. Eventually, I ended that relationship. Looking back, I see I was searching for that unconditional love that only God can
give and that no one can take away. Romans 8:38-39 says, “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Eighteen years ago I attended an Easter program in
I also prayed that if God wanted me to stay single, that He’d put a peace in my heart because I did NOT have it. I pictured Jesus in the Garden at
went through, I desired the same: God’s will above my own. It was when I became content in Him, that He blessed me with my husband Mark. I share this with you to encourage you to be still and wait on the Lord. His will for your life is far greater than you can imagine. Surrender to Him and allow Him to be the Lover of your soul!
The second greatest commandment is, Matthew 22:39, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Who is our neighbor? Basically, anyone other than ourselves! We are commanded to love and esteem others. Philippians 2:3-4 states, “Do nothing from selfish ambition or vain conceit, but with humility of mind consider others as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own interests, but also for the interests of others.” God has given us the family as a perfect environment to practice this in. When my children are having difficulties sharing or being kind to one another, I remind them that of all the children in the whole world God chose them to be siblings, and He does NOT make mistakes, so they have to love one another and treat each other kindly...It is NOT an option!
Scripture is very clear about our roles as women. Whether you are single or married we have many opportunities to show God’s love to others. For those of us who are married, or desire to be, God has designed us to love our husbands. Marriage is ordained by God and has been from the beginning of creation when He created Adam and Eve. He created Adam first, and then Eve to be Adam’s suitable helper. Similarly, we are to be our husband’s helpers. Are you a helper to your husband? God has ordained our husbands and given them the responsibility to lead our families. For those of us who like to be in control, we must let go of the reigns and trust God to work through our husbands. When we submit to their headship, we are recognizing their Biblical authority.
Ephesians 5:22-24 says, “Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church. He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.” We are to submit to them in all things UNLESS it CLEARLY goes against the Word of God.
For those of you who may be married to an unbeliever, Scripture is clear about your behavior towards your husband. 1 Peter 3:1-2 states, “In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the
word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and *respectful behavior.” What kind of behavior? Chaste & respectful. *You can find something to respect about your husband-(ex. work; think back to
what 1st attracted you to him).
Submission is a word many women shy away from. Some even make up their “own” definition for it, but we must realize the authority of Scripture. It does not mean that wives must throw their brains out the back door and become doormats. Submission
is yielding, resigning, or surrendering to the power, will, or authority of another. It is recognizing God’s order for our home. We should desire to be the “most excellent wife” we can be for the glory of God. Proverbs 12:4 says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is like rottenness to his bones.” When we don’t submit and respect our husbands, we become like ‘rottenness to his bones’. Do you ever
talk badly about your husbands? We should NEVER speak disrespectfully about our husbands, not even in a joking manner, because that would be shaming them.
We can submit to our husbands as an act of submission to the Lord. However, we are not to place them above the Lord. That would be idolatry. By the way, ladies, when we submit, we’re to do it WITHOUT grumbling or complaining. Philippians 2:14-15 says, “Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world.” By submitting to our husbands, we are honoring God by obeying His Word.
God has also designed us to love our children. After Moses told the Israelites to love the LORD with all their heart, soul, and might, he told them in Deut. 6:6-7, “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.” We are to make the most of every opportunity to train our children according to the Word of God. To do this, we must spend time in the Word and obey it, as well as spend time with out children. Psalm 119:2 says, “How blessed are those who observe His testimonies, who seek Him
with all their heart.”
We must also be careful to see children as God does. In Psalm 127:3 it says, “Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb is a reward.” How do you view your children? Will you be glad when they’re grown and gone; or do you see them as blessings from the LORD? Are they one of the joys of your life? Unfortunately, many in our society view children as a curse, when God clearly says they are a blessing. Being a
mom is a privilege, but comes with great responsibility. When we mess up, we must ask our children’s forgiveness. When I ask for my children’s forgiveness, I remind them that our Heavenly Father is the only perfect parent and that I’m going to mess up. I also
remind them that Jesus Christ was the only perfect child that walked on this Earth, and that I don’t expect perfection from them, but I do expect them to do their best. Because we love our children and want to train them in righteousness, we must instruct, encourage, correct, and discipline them. To do this Biblically, we must know the difference between childishness and foolishness. Childishness is when a child behaves in a way because they don’t know any better. Foolishness is when a child knows better, but chooses to be disobedient or defiant.
Proverbs is full of Godly counsel in training children. We should make every effort to train them up to have Godly character, but be on our guard NOT to compare them with others. We must love our children for who they are; if we don’t, they will find someone who will….and that could be DANGEROUS! Enjoy who God created them to be. Pray to see them through the eyes of Christ. Encourage them in their strengths, and help them
through their weaknesses. What we may see as a weakness, God can use for His glory if it’s encouraged properly. Critical words can tear down a child, but wise words can build him up. Proverbs 18:21 says, “Life and death are in the power of the tongue…”. How have your words been lately? Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands.” We can set the tone in our homes by our attitude, by not allowing our emotions to control us. The only way we can succeed in this is by spending time with the LORD in His Word. John 15:4 says, “Abide in Me,
and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.” This verse applies to all of us. It doesn’t matter if you’re married, single, divorced, or widowed. God can use you!
I just want encourage anyone here who may be dealing with rebellious or wayward children to not give up. Keep praying! There was a time in my life when I was rebellious and my precious mother prayed fervently for me. I am forever grateful.
For those of us who are older, in age and in the faith, Scripture makes it clear what we are to do. Titus 2:3-says, “Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” (blasphemed) Why do we need to encourage younger women in these things? So that the Word of God will not be blasphemed!
There are women everywhere that are hungry for the Truth. Pray for opportunities to share the love of Christ. I will conclude with this…
John 13:34-35, Jesus is speaking and says, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all
men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”
When we get into the Word of God, and realize His great love for us, it is then we are able to love Him first, and love others as He commands.
The author of Scripture is the Lover of our Souls.